DR SCOUSE BLOG

Kinnell la!!! get on me, writing blogs n tha!!

 

 

finally thought fuck it... am gonna be a proper blog ed!! and blog me head off! then dug the lappy out from under the couch and wiped all the greasy finger marks off it (kids must ov tipped there tea onto to the screen and munched it off the laptop, fuck the plates). 

 

eh, how mads twitter? its proper off its barnet init. some characters on it. only in Twitterpool could you get some of these decent as fuck "parody" accounts. scousers OWN twitter from where am sittn. an every other poor bastard gets terrord to death till they fuck off.

 

there are a few very clear groups that stand out on twitter and i'll try and list them for yuz.

 

the "Follow Me Back" freaks:

as yuz all know, i dont follow as many people as i'd like, i'm pretty much the snobby bastard thats your bezzy on twitter, but blanks you in the street. its not intentional. i genuinely forget to press the "follow" button. twat arn i. what the "follow me back" freaks do is bore you to death with inbox messages an tha asking for you to follow them back (obvs). its normally 14-18 year old, crank, weapon berds. you know the ones that sit at the back off the 10A singing "disturbia" in weird American accents. so, you follow them back, thinking "fuck it, how bad can it be". FORR KINNN ELLL !!! they fill your twitter feed up asking other poor bastards to follow them. SWERVE!!!! fuckin ell. tweetn Rihanna going "arr i love you, am your bestest fan girl, follow me back babes"... AS IF rihanna's gonna go, "arr she sounds boss her.. i was gonna go on tour but fuck it. i'll stay in an look at @scouseweaponberd's tweets". if your fortunate to get a few followers on twitter, beware the follow me back freaks.

 

The Ded Ard Lads:

the dead ard lads are those rock ard lads tha say shit to people they wouldn't say boo to in the street. fair enough. if your gonna be a rock hard headcase sound. no ones flappin abah you sayin "meet me in the maccies on rice lane in abah an hour am gonna fuck you". why bother your arse eh? your not going the maccies, and neither is the person your threatening so... even worse is when they leave it for abah half an hour an then start tweetn "shithouse never showd up". nah, honest. get your heads down. then its made worse by their belta followers going "arr whats appind babes" grooming there egos. swerve it Ded Ard Lads. no ones arsed.

 

The Egg:

the strange egg that follows you and only you. never tweets or retweets or anything. just sits there egging it up. who are these people? why follow just one person? say suttn? DO SUTTN!! they make me paranoid yuno. hmmm. if your an egg, sort your head out and get a picture up and stop being a weird egg.

 

The Derts:

the derts, (or "dirts" if ur posh) are them berds tha throw the duck pout pictures up with captions like "me just chillin in bed" or "tired, might have a shower" an its a picture of them lyin on a bed in a rigobert with their taigs out. pouting their heads off with skiddy knickers an clobber all over the floor in the background. if you want us to think your decent, tidy up first you scruffy twat. hence, the "dirt" title. you might be good looking, but your actually a fuckin meff. so... put some clean knickers on an have a little tidy up.  ahem...

 

The Facebook v Twitter bores:

this ones a bit tricky to spot. you'd have to be following them on twitter, AND actually be mates with them on facebook (ano, magin tha). these divvys flick from their beloved facebook to twitter from time to time to tell ALL US, that twitters shit, and facebook is better. then they go back to their little facebook profile and tell all their little dickhead mates "twitters shit". nice one. your boss you. normally these nuggets join twitter, add all the people they're mates with on facebook and then tweet shit like "hello, i dunno what i'm supposed to do". who are you saying "hello" to? you've got no followers you fuckin plant pot. twitter should introduce a "lock out" date. and if you haven't joined twitter by a certain date its tough shit, an you can fuck off.

 

The RTers an Followers:

legendary people that get involved, they follow, tweet, retweet and generally "get" twitter. sometimes i wonder what the fuck we actually get done all day. me personally, am fucked now. tweetn me head off an all tha. swear down, me berd is gonna spark me if she collars me eating me tea with me phone in me face. bad arn i. tit me la.

 

The Wools:

yep. there out there, wooling about on the outskirts of liverpool, drinking "pop" and gettin called "cock" by their arl fellas. arl arse innit. sometimes they overstep the mark, an start tweeting shit about liverpool. as if they've got anything to say! sittn there with a skinhead, with a little fringe at the front, pierced ears and astro turf togger boots!! are they fuckin messin.

The Boyf/Girlf tweeters:
usually, these poor bastards arent allowed to even tweet anything without tagging thier berds in it at the top. fuckin tyrones arent they?! even worse is when some poor girl has got to have a profile picture of her hugging her dickhead fella (i say "hug", but it actually looks more like a headlock). the male of this strange breed will often tweet pictures of him with his girlfriend. she's smiling, and hes snarling, like were sat here going "twat! i was gonna inbox her, but he looks like a bit of a madhead, i'd better leave it". whats the point. its a "social" network site, and neither of yuz is allowed to talk to anyone. yuz need to get your heads down as soon as poss.

since joining twitter, i've noticed all ov the above. have a look an see if you can spot one on of your followers doing any of the above. is he a tyrone? a wool? a dert or even a follow back freak?. maybe your a tyrone??? fuckin hell lad.... get your head down.

dr scouse.