Facebook. "Dickheads are us" (including me btw) Although i've been member of facebook since abah 2007. Its really REALLY starting to get on my bleedn wick!. This must mean that i actually hate everyone i know, obviously, because everyone i know is on there, and they make it shit. so. yuno.
The thing is with facebook is that it forces you to tell people stuff you wouldn't normally even think to yourself. My timeline is FULL of shite!! like "starving", "ughh i hate Mondays" "cant believe this rain" "fumin" game invites, boring twats tryna add my birthday to some bullshit app, "farmville" and some other bollocks about egg hunting or suttn. The other thing that i've noticed is those stupid quotations like "true love is when you sniff your mans clothes when he's not there". This shit is normally accompanied by a man and a woman walking down a beach, in the sunset. YAWN!! who comes up with this shit?
Facebook used to be alright, it had a novelty to it. I wanted to know what all the bellends from school where doing. I suppose i wanted to see who done alright for themselves and who'd fucked up. It was interesting to catch up with these people and it was good to see the photos of them on a caravan holiday in wales playing cards in the caravan and eating ice cream in the rain. I nosed through everyones photos, laughing, frowning and judging these people and comparing my own life to theirs. But like any good catch up with an old acquaintance, i've ran out of stuff to tell them, and they're the same. Facebook has kind of got to the awkward silence part with me and my "friends". Its the internet equivalent of standing there, holding your drink, looking around the room for someone else to go and talk to. Except, you've already spoken to all them as well.
Its also the internet equivalent of a quarter to 3 in town on a Saturday night, people are pissed, they've gotten to know you a little bit, and now they're gonna tell you what they think of you, whether you want them to or not.
its gone from "alright mate, good to see you" to "shut up you boring cunt"
I used to be arsed. I'd read peoples facebook updates goin "sound, Dave is going to town for new shoes". but now i hate Dave's face for telling me that. I look at his profile picture and think "tut, theres dickhead dave, the shoe buying gobshite". WHY? why the hate. I don't know but its not just me. All over facebook people are arguing, fighting and posting pictures of their ex fellas with their new berds with a massive "SLAG" title under it. Lads are killing each other on football "banter" pages and prowling the relationship sections for a "its complicated" or a "single" so they can start inboxing these berds heads off.
To some people, facebook is their whole actual life. Where before they would get their buzz off a decent episode of corrie or 999 with Michael Burke (ha, remember that). They're now sat on facebook ALL day waiting for something to happen so they can get involved. Someone could say "some kids are horrible", and there would be murder, "whos kids ju mean?", "i hope you dont mean my kids?". Why would she mean your kids you fuckin crank, you live a hundred miles away, get your head down you fuckn gobshite. The other week, i seen an actual argument over farmville. Basically someone had said they were sick of "working on other peoples farms and getting no help in return". So, someone flew in arguing about the fact that they helped the other week and that they had no right to say that to everyone and blah blah blah.
FUCKIN HELL!!
First of all, this might come as a shock to some people reading this, but its not actually real. Moaning about having to work on other peoples farms like you've actually done a real days work on a real farm. Are you messn??!! I bet your back was broke the next day moving all that virtual hay from the barn or whatever.. sake. Yuz wanna be careful the social arent watching you working on the side on peoples farms. You might get your doe stopped for earning a cow on the side. Then end up going to farmville jug. Endless. Mindless. Shite.
The worst thing about it by a country mile now are these "like in 5 seconds and see what happens to the picture" bollocks. People. PLEASE, STOP 'LIKING' THIS SHIT!! you know whos the worst. Old people. People that have only been on the internet for two years or suttn. Flew out, bought a laptop, gone straight on facebook, seen a "like this if you want good luck", thought "ooohh i want some good luck" and clicked the fuckin thing. You should see me ma's facebook. Fucking hell, its a joke. She must 'like' everything she sees.
So now, every 5 minutes its "wow, i just won an ipad"
"this girl killed herself coz of suttn, click like to view the video"
"wanna see something cool, comment "2" and see what
happens to the mans face"
"wow i just changed the colour of my facebook from blue to red"
"win JIST0N B!3BER tickets, click like"
FOR FUCKS SAKE!!
Its endless. and unfortunately, its getting worse. Its made worse by zombie facebook profiles. Whats a zombie facebook profile?, i hear you ask. Well. You know when someone gets a sly laptop, and they think they're boss, and they join facebook, click every fucking "like" they can, add all their mates, play all the games, get everyones birthday and have their horoscope delivered to all of their friends timelines so they can see what her horoscope says, and generally BLADDER facebook? And then they disappear. Whats happened is, they've either had to flog the laptop coz its nearly Christmas and her little angel, "liam" wants a Quad. OR, shes got a new fella and he's a bit of a fuckn head case and "he hasn't got a facebook so i don't need one" and shes flogged it and gave him the money to go to Ibiza with his brilliant mates. Well, shes not on facebook any more. But her facebook is still churning this shit out, telling me her "stars for this week" an, "like this for good luck" over and over again. like a zombie that's infested with a horrible disease, wandering the internet looking for someone to bite..
"ughhhhrrr... must... eat.... brains... "
Before anyone says it. I'm well aware that i can change what goes on my facebook timeline. I'm sure a few clicks would end all this shite for me but the way i see it, i wanna know who these sad bastards are. I actually started hating someone in real life, because of a game they played on facebook. You can't look at a lad the same way if you know he plays "egg hunt" or some shit like that can you? I honestly thought he was sound. Then thought, "nah, this lad goes home, gets his little laptop out and puts his egg hunt game on, the bellwhiff".
So why am i still on facebook? I dont know. I think its like that thing where, your driving past a really bad car crash, and as you crawl past in your car, you look dont you? You look to see if you can see suttn gory an horrible. You cant help it, you dont even have to look. But you do. Thats what facebook is like to me. It's a car crash, with people i know involved in it. and they've crashed coz they were arguing over a game of farmville, and i'm crawling past looking going "ughh, fucked up that" haha.
oh yeh....
Few good followers have been onto me, inboxing me head clean off me shoulders asking me if I'm behind any other accounts on Twabbzitter. I'm not. anything else is just a cheap imitation. s'right yooz.
So why am i still on facebook? I dont know. I think its like that thing where, your driving past a really bad car crash, and as you crawl past in your car, you look dont you? You look to see if you can see suttn gory an horrible. You cant help it, you dont even have to look. But you do. Thats what facebook is like to me. It's a car crash, with people i know involved in it. and they've crashed coz they were arguing over a game of farmville, and i'm crawling past looking going "ughh, fucked up that" haha.
Probably why were all on Twitter init.
oh yeh....
Few good followers have been onto me, inboxing me head clean off me shoulders asking me if I'm behind any other accounts on Twabbzitter. I'm not. anything else is just a cheap imitation. s'right yooz.
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